7 apr. 2020

how am i supposed to remember and honor a history
written with these feathers false with lie and deceit,
promulgated on these filthy pamphlets
and memorialized, revered as greatest prose,
defended, lauded, evangelized, celebrated?

   how am i to put on some pedestal
   this toilet-paper literature,
   and how i am i to hear these broken poetics
   of mute and wing-torn nightingales,
   how they twitter their warbles of unhope
    and their weak spring-song
   muttered and stuttered deep from the syrinx
   of their debased subterfuge?

their mimicry of greatness,
their faux emulations of might
through their pathetic and futile mobbing
against Truth itself comes off
as not dishonest exactly,
just existentially pathetic.

    the ornithomancy of fossilized birds
    reap bleak results.

    the prophecy speaks of draught,
    of death and of doom.

their prodigal hearts were wounded
from the lance of self-critique,
striking hard from the left side of histories!

   and they bled the black muck
   of their own reprobate wanton.

that is all it came to amount to:
a history of failure and destitution;
tirades of empty moralism, exhibitions
in shallowness,  contests in vice and vanity; glorifications of hedonistic inhibition…

coyness, resolve, constraint, mystery:
   all abandoned!

        here is no strife!

        here is no sacrifice!

       “just we fuck, drink and laugh enough!”

in the end times, only the surface nuisances
of a planet burning at its core seemed interestingnothing was real in those last days.

  fuck the hedonistic rapture you ushered in!

       for i am part of it
       and this part of me i hate…

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