Dreams of lavishness and libertinism bring many men and women down to the clutches of despair, but there are often reasons for this. Few but not very few people choose this actively. No child dreams of it. There are certain deranged specimens of human life altogether alien to the concepts of honor and ethic we ecumenically share, but they are few and far between. Most of the victims of hedonism are just that – victims. They fell on the slippery slope down inferno. And they swallowed Satan's bait. The idealization of hedonistic immoderation as a means of balance to the oppressive psycho-spiritual implications incumbent to human freedom is understandable an approach, though deeply sinister, wrong to the core. To become the cistern of human sin, to drink from oneself freely and without temperance, and to receive the holy water of an unholy faith. To host feasts of indulgence and self-pleasure and to give way to Mammon and to devils and satyrs and fauns! What a debauchery, what as shame. To feel great without paying the proper price or sacrifice! That is the true vice of man – now, then and forever. Human beings suck and taste the marrow of freedom, but spit it out and opt for prison instead. And that is what I, on sadder days, want to do as well. To become disgusting and weak but for a moment! Just for a moment. But I know that a moment of sin turns into an eternity of sin with the blink of an eye. Like a fly to the spider's web you stick to it. Unfortunately, many people can not confront the problem properly, and they lose to it. You become incarnate the spirit of lazy, uncultured gluttony, and you give unto yourself the spoiled self-coddling privileges, the Narcissistic arrogance of trying to ignore what should not be ignored!
If enlightenment meant tulips and sunshine, then everyone would be enlightened, but everyone is not. If hard work was easy, it wouldn't be called hard. If the human spirit was weak in itself, we wouldn't conceptualize strength as an ideal universal. If the meaning of existence means "follow your bliss", I do not want to be here anymore. Bliss is a dead end. Meaning is the pathway forward. Meaning, power, beauty and the Glory of God. To hell with your hedonism and bulwark ideologies. Crawl through the gutter! There is knowledge in dirt and grime, too. The accomplished human is happy, yes, but only as a secondary effect of being accomplished. Happiness can not precede accomplishment. Bliss is a dead end. I promise that. And if you don't believe me – try it. Pursue "happiness" for ten years and see where you find yourself. If enlightenment meant bliss and pleasure, everyone would be enlightened. Because it would be so easy. Why are not everyone happy, then? Where is that utopia? Why is there atrocity, resentment, murder, rape, madness, angst and the harrowing, millenial accumulation of evil and filth in this world? Because bliss and pleasure will not set your free – it will entrap. I say again: if hard work was easy, it wouldn't be hard. The search for meaning goes through many dimlit caverns, believe that! And there is religious truth in the very shadow you try to banish and evict from your heart futily! God is surely a terror for the feeble-minded. That is why he pretends God does not exist. Easier that way, perhaps. However, it is an existential and spiritual falsity, a human error, a self-imposed indemnity, this ever-search for carnal and sensual satisfaction and of material acquisition. And to that I can only leer mockingly. I have no respect for it, because God commands it not, never.
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