"Dumuzid & Ishtar / The Zorya's Passionate Sermon" (Zolpidem-fueled draft for the book)

Where do the human live its life's large margins but not exactly across, and over, the line which separates heaven from hell? Up there in heaven, they exult in indifference because they believe to have found care! Up there, they conjoin in sweatless hands, believing to have found meaning... meanwhile, love and amphetamine has become by far the most widely abused drugs in hell. Love turns the sweetness sour in the great cauldron! And love turns cold into warmth over the lapse of seasons! In love, the idealist and the realist, side by side, must together bear the burden of candour and embrace the subjective nature of love's horrendous phenomena! In love, both must persevere; not the one nor the other, but both! must be victorious... In love, no-one - except for other people - may be left behind - because only your love is important; fuck all other peoples' loves. You love; it is your love, and you therefore are privileged; other people can not feel your love; therefore they should be dismissed on this subject, for indeed they have nothing to say about the passion of it; together, you and the one you love can rip the tongues fast from their throats until words and arguments and logic run out like vomit, and it shall feel like a festive ceremony of exclusion; this is the selfish and unglamorous side to love, as well as one of its most obvious outlets into the Divine. Yes, through the egress of egoism our human love flows out into the ocean of God. In love, as if an epistle of the Lord itself, heavy in meaning and impact, the strong and the weak, side by side, must endure the great vice of temptation...and they must both fear the resignation of responsibility; the resentment over responsibility, and the bitterness of responsibility over the love which they carry sisyphean. To each-other they say: "here you have my love"; and it is a lechery too delicious to be refrained from; too astute as to be ignored; too arrogant as to even consider any options, and too meaningful as to even leave a choice. Love is a religious experience because it moves you to change your life, and surely it moves me to take one more step away from that which has been granted by default... and for this reason love is a prime mover of passion, and it is around this foremost measuring rod which i wish to conduct my dances and walks of abandon until i am dizzy and laughing - from the jubilance of merely being alive. With the heirloom of existential confusion swaying around the pig-neck, the human being sleeps, and the heredity of human worthlessness sucks like a leech humanity out of the human. Is there any plane of being upon the human may ascend which is cleansed from the darkness of being... or is the cultivation of the human soul dependent intrinsically on the attachment of suffering to it? And is there really any love to be lived which does not taste of the bitter salt of ruination? Can the coolness of the ocean and the warmness of the sun work unison until the earth has become a better place? And can I kill myself? I do not hold any answers, but of love I can say just that if you can hug a person from behind, then you love them; it does not matter if it is momentarily, episodically, eternally; there is yet love there. Actually, I do not care if it is just momentarily or if it is episodically... because true love is a concept completely dissociated from timeless love. For the time being, I do not care about timeless love. All I want to say is that if you hug the person from behind, there is love happening. And that to me is a very elemental and straight-forward matter; try to hug someone from behind; someone you do not like at all. Impossible task; even heroes refuse! In the amorous relationship, we may ick the wound that is infected, and what infects is loves' bacteria! And I am this barren planet you terraform... I will die from it and I feel my tongue shivering; nevertheless I choose no other way; no other mode; no other path; no other style; for many it is an alien form... nevertheless, my form it is! I am a genie of romance and you broke the lamp! You broke the lamp and now oil runs out as to cover everything in darkness, but what happens when the match ignites this darkness and turns the oil aflame, as to emit the strongest light of them all, the light of a whole galaxy blazing, the one you sought from the very first place? Eros herself answers mystically: darkness and the nature of darkness as phenomenawill be changed forever! For such is the transformative power of love. "You are worthy of this lamp, it is beautiful and it can be mirrored in, and to me it is a good idea, because to put a mirror in front of your face is to put an ocean beneath the sky as to reflect the sun", Dumuzid said to Ishtar, whom rejoiced. "As a human being I lack the power of being silent, and I must confess to the world and scream and shriek and shout my love outward so that it may catch wind." Ishtar responded mystically. She continued: "and for this reason, I promulgate the most resentful accusations against a family of which i am mysef a member". The human being becomes an artwork when the human being starts to lead her existence without reference to any other being. And Dumuzid spoke again: "Ishtar, if you can scare me away, I may become impressed, given the ardent toughness of my love. We must build our relationship with ruinenwert in mind. Romantic love is impermanent but the meaning behind it is surely endless. Our wild love, which outreaches convention, may not be contained and it might outlive its stale brother of jealousy at any and every cost -  but that is for the future, and us, to decide".