You
can not handle the growth into oldness, and I mysef can not handle my
own aging, the physiological deterioration, the psycho-spiritual
deconstruction of consciousness, the erosive grinding down of
awareness and the dismantling of self-identity, the dilapidation of
cognition and of neurological function – this “reason” which
you have put on a high pedestal throughout a whole human life becomes
more and more crystal-clear, as if air or some breaking glass, as if
it was not even there in the first place... yet you have breathed its
oxygen to stay alive! It moves about in the shadows, stepping out of
them, presenting and manifesting itself like a trickster or like a
fox, and you can see the fucking trick now, you start to comprehend
the mind-game, you see the illusion clearer by each blink of the
eye... reason only took you so far – what now?
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