L'APPEL
DU VIDE
the
imp of the perverse
on
my shoulder
whispering of rape
and pillage
dreams
angels
descend
with daggers and
molotov cocktails---
the panzerfaust of
the sky
moves about...
libido
destrudo
rape each-other
i
am the first lemmel
i
can see the cliff now...
rape
everything into parts
i
am the mongrel between swine and man
leave
me alone for this reason only ---
besmirch me not
with empathy ---
i
want no flowers on the stone of my tomb,
no
grievous widow, no abandoned children
i want some
black rotten dead dog
to give me
company
and
affection
because i am the
peril we warned ourselves about,
and that is all
i am worth ---
nothing more,
nothing less --- than death.
for years we sat
in our
academies
and the class
rooms
immersed in
the dialectic of existence
telling
ourselves about the fear
beyond
thresholds ---
the
fear which mothers rear from in the ninth month
and
that which fathers think about right before they betray their spouses
---
i
am diphenhydramine in the flesh ---
i am your feet
and i am the first step
and i am
that fucking threshold ---
half poisonous
nightmare, half transcendental divinity
segueing into a
free fall down the verticality of life,
devoured in one
single bite
by the beast of
conditionless renunciation
i
am
in
love with a haunting presence
---apparition---
her
smile is the mist i lose myself in
i
am an orphan home-sick for the home of my childhood,
alas,
it
does not exist ---
too bad for me.
dépaysement,
l'appel du vide,
désespoir
et de façon destructrice..
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