from The Longer Story

Now my soul have watchtowers, yet I weep tears of blood, saudade blood, over the base of the mountain. The mountaneous pneuma, I have heard, been told, will be arousing; morphine-like almost; alluring, seductive; like children through the eyes of the prophet. But this is no serene, bountyful valley - where is the eden I have been promised? Where is the solace; the concession of peace, the burial of ancient hatchets? I can not see the blooming flowers, the ever-bearing trees! The eternal light, the bliss, where is it? 

Down here, at the mountain-base - which I have travelled to find -  I can see a lot of anxiety, anguish, and self-contemptuous cogitation, I can see the cursed children of raped women playing violin on arms with razors... I see all kinds of decadence, brutality, denial... Down here, judges beg forgiveness to the executed, and fathers sell albino daughters to horny witch-doctors (I have seen it firsthand), but I can not figure where to go, on what kind of clandestine untrodden trail  I must set foot, in order to find Ebih, the mountain Ebih, which have been described as the abode of gods... where even the gutters are flowing with milk and honey... Countless many times I have heard humans from all castes of existence ascribe to the mountain, Great Ebih (as they venerate it), blissful and awe-inspiring qualities, and promises of happiness and solace are assured at the gates. 

People say that at the base of the mountain Ebih, even the nights are lighter than our days, and the sun always shine. The crops never die, and the water never poisons; Ebih - the original eden, the fortress of peace... I seek it and I have sought to seek it, I have read maps and I have stayed in the huts of the hermits; I have ventured to edges and coastlines, I have waded through swamps of doubt, I have kept all keys I have been able to find... I have followed instinct, I have followed elders, my mouth have been bent open and the soliloquies of lecturers ring still in my ear... I have bribed, I have tried to cheat, I have stabbed backs, I have walked over corpses, but I can not find it still! The Ebih of my dreams - symbol of perfect and unparadoxical harmony - a fraud? I feel fooled...